Thoughts on so-called pain point marketing
A while back a subscriber - a conscientious, caring coach - asked me about being trauma-informed and what it means, so I shared some thoughts. They sent me a lead magnet they'd downloaded, which detailed some useful information on what it means to be trauma informed alongside the (ludicrous) notion that "pain point marketing is not trauma informed”.
A hard and fast rule, is it? Because it's interesting to note that having highlighted the “pain” of not being trauma informed, the lead magnet then offered the solution of joining the waitlist for the author's paid trauma informed training programme to solve that problem. A great example of the “pain point marketing” denigrated within the contents of the lead magnet.
Photo by Hello I'm Nik on Unsplash
What does it mean to be trauma informed?
As understanding of the brain has changed in recent decades, the definition of trauma is broad; it's anything that is "deeply distressing or disturbing" and is defined by a person's subjective experience of it rather than the event itself.
Anything that's emotionally distressing or disturbing can have long term effects on a person's experience of their life. Indeed, through epigenetics and the study of Holocaust victims, we now know that trauma experienced in previous generations changes the DNA of future generations: the effects are long-lasting.
A trauma informed approach is one that seeks to understand and respond to the impact of trauma in people's lives. Ultimately, this approach shifts the focus from the accusatory "what's wrong with you?" to the compassionate "what happened to you?".
In my view and personal experience, it's hugely important to take this approach in coaching.
And that doesn't mean avoiding saying anything about painful or difficult topics within our marketing.
The nuance
All marketing involves identifying a need (or creating one), highlighting that need and then offering a solution to solve the problem/fulfil the need. Some people's approach to marketing (like their approach to life) will be full on and pushing buttons hard without much subtlety, compassion or craft. Some will be the opposite. Or somewhere between these two extremes. Wherever it falls on this spectrum, all marketing is so-called pain point marketing. If it isn't pointing out a pain/need/gap/problem? It's bad marketing, my friends.
Would it help if we renamed "pain point marketing" as "compassionate understanding and illustration of a problem marketing"? Or indeed, just plain old, "marketing"?
The fear?
The fear amongst fledgling marketers/business owners of prodding pain and triggering others is a noble one. We don't want to hurt anyone. But it strikes me that here’s something here about not wanting to see, hear, smell or touch pain. Something around wanting to deny pain completely. Good vibes only. But pain is part of life. More than that, as Rumi said "the cure for pain is in the pain".
The lesson?
Firstly, be ruthlessly discerning about who you listen to amongst the din of online noise telling you how to run your business and live your life.
Secondly, it’s not a sin to talk about pain. Highlighting your understanding of your clients’ pain is not pressure. It’s showing your humanity and understanding of another person and their struggles, establishing a connection.
It's marketing.
If you consider talking about pain a miscarriage of trust or unethical in your marketing, I can’t help but wonder how you feel about facing your own pain and struggles in life?
It’s only through acknowleging pain that we can move through it. If we don’t face our pain, we can’t ever really heal and experience the light that comes when we fully accept ourselves exactly as we already are. No hiding, no fixing, no denial, no shame.
