I quit. Here’s why.

Leaving social media

I woke up yesterday morning from a dream in which I was trapped in the small, dark gap between a boundary wall and the edge of a bungalow-type house, scrambling to climb on top of the roof. It was a tight squeeze; a struggle. I was sweating. It felt impossible, uncomfortable, almost painful.

When I finally got to the top, it felt good - light, open, unlimited. A little scary, but ultimately liberating. The sky was blue and the sun was shining. I was free. 

That's when I decided to leave social media. 

Photo by Axel Antas-Bergkvist on Unsplash

I got up and started deleting every piece of content I'd ever posted on Facebook and Instagram. This makes it sound like I'm decisive and quick at taking notice of how thing affect me. I wish I could claim that was true all the time, but it isn't the whole story. It's been a long road.

I know I'm not unusual or notable to have been toying with the idea of a life without social media for quite some time - find me a person on it who doesn't have a love/hate relationship with it. Nonetheless, I thought you might be interested to hear about what prompted me to finally say goodbye to the platforms I've been addicted to (like crack!) for a decade plus...

As an aside, I recall my friend Cindy encouraged me to join Facebook in 2007 and my very first post on Instagram in 2011 was a photo of my mum's delicious snitch pie (simpler times).

Firstly, I've been pondering and exploring for just over a year now the possibility that I'm neurodivergent in one or several ways. Whether I am or not, I'm someone that tends towards hyperfocus, overthinking and am deeply affected by what I hear, see, read, etc... The more I learn about brains, the more I recognise that social media is not where I should be spending any amount of time. It's not making anyone any happier or smarter.

Secondly, it’s about quality and value... For sure, there are some people producing high quality, insightful, useful content on these platforms. But let's be really honest for a second, the vast majority is nebulous, vapid toss. 

Of course, the old argument from influencers on social media is this doesn't have to matter - "just unfollow, curate your feed". But, it does matter because what I consume influences my feelings, thoughts, beliefs and behaviours. If that weren’t the case, the advertising industry wouldn’t be the multi-billion dollar industry it is.*

More often than not, social media makes me feel bad. Even if the quality of the content is good, our brains are already processing huge amounts of data every waking moment just by being alive and having senses, it can only take so much! No wonder I’m so exhausted.

It also matters because creating on social media is unpaid labour. It's also a market, which expands and expands and expands.... It takes a LOT of time and energy to produce content and ANYONE can do it. This is often made out to be a good thing - "yay! use your voice, low barrier to entry, anyone can make money on the internet" - but surely, anyone with a basic grasp of economics knows it isn't. 

Cal Newport talks about how anything anyone with a phone can do (smashing out some posts on social media for example) is not now - nor will ever - be valuable. Whereas being able to create in a way that you can if your brain hasn't been melted by social media, is. The robots will never be able to beat us on creativity, right? I'm digressing, this is what a brain melted by social media does.

This point about quality was hammered home to me when I started a couple of Open University courses this week (free, I might add) and realised how refreshing it felt to be studying something well-researched and structured, which offered differing hypotheses rather than simple, reductive answers. It simply presented the research and evidence as it stands and - crucially - included citation of sources! It made me realise how much of the content I consume is conjecture that doesn't encourage any critical analysis.

This week I saw something that was an exact copy of something I'd seen years ago from a different creator. It was a half-interesting message the first time. This wasn't plagiarism. It wasn't purposeful copying. It's just that this is what happens on social media - people make the same points over and over again because - shocker - creativity doesn't come from being attached to a screen all the time. It comes from the real world and a variety of sources.

Thirdly, I'm scared for what the future holds for kids. I want to model to mine that screens aren't that interesting. Like I said, I started on these platforms at the ripe old age of 25 and got quickly hooked - no other word for it, no matter how embarrassing it is. I hate to think what state my nervous system would be in had I started as a child or teenager.

Here's where I got to... I'm deleting it all and breaking my habit. I've deleted all apps, installed website blockers and an app which stops me accessing my email or a browser on my phone more than eight times a day (by 12.30pm I'd already maxed out). The good thing about hyperfocus and tending towards obsessiveness is when you finally make a decision, you go all in.

It's only day two. Yesterday, at the end of day one I could feel edginess setting in by the evening. Like quitting smoking.

What will happen to my work? I don't have all the answers yet, but I already feel excited by the possibility that opens up with not feeling the need to share every little thing.

I want to write. I want to feel and to move. To have space. I want to get my information slowly and deliberatley, preferably in an analogue form that takes effort and thought to get hold of (I'm also on a book buying ban - library loans only). I want to connect with people in real life. I want to be able to think again without distraction, to analyse thoughtfully, to be focused and motivated. Most of all I want to find out what I want away from the glare of other people bombarding me with their opinions all day long.

*Source article: PR Newswire (Market Size Of The Digital Advertising Industry Expected To Reach $20.7 Billion In 2022 , February 2022)

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